Are godparents the same as guardians?

Trying to decide in advance who would fulfil the role of guardian if you weren’t around is upsetting, I know. It was an obvious choice for me, but it was still a tough conversation.

Everything about children changes so quickly.  You may know many wonderful people who would love and care for your children if the worst happened. Have you considered if they share your values, your hopes and aspirations, your parenting style?

In England, a parent with ‘parental responsibility’ can appoint legal guardians for children under 18.

You can make an informal agreement, but you’ll avoid conflict and issues if you include guardians in your Will. The role of a guardian is similar to that of a parent. Your child’s guardian will have a legal duty of care and be responsible for their safety, health, care, education, and upbringing.

Godparents have a caring and spiritual role in your child’s life but do not have a legal role as guardians. You may decide your child’s godparents are the best people to step in if you were to die prematurely. If so, they should be named in your Will so your wishes are clear.

Isn’t my Mum the obvious choice?

A family member is often an obvious choice.  This is especially true when your children are young. However, older children have close friendship groups and strong ties to school and the local area, so moving them away after losing one or both parents could disrupt their lives further. For others, a new start could be ideal.

Over time, the circumstances of your parents, brothers and sisters, and friends will change.  Staying over with grandparents for a week during the school holidays might give your teenagers a chance to be spoilt rotten, but could your parents cope if the arrangement became permanent?

How can I decide?

Deciding who would look after your children if the worst should happen might feel like an impossible task.

Parents often cannot agree as there is a natural inclination to appoint someone from your family. You may have delayed making your Wills because you cannot agree.  But if you are having a difficult time making the decision now, imagine how much harder it will be for your children if your families disagree and don’t know your wishes.

Is any decision better than none?

One solution is to appoint the most suitable person as your children's guardian and give them powers in your Will to appoint substitute guardians.

Leaving the decision to be made by a person you trust, taking into account the circumstances at the time could give you real peace of mind. Ideally, you should review your Will whenever your circumstances change and you can amend it at any time (providing you have the required mental capacity to do so).

Many people don't make provisions because they don't want to consider the awful possibility of not being there for their children. As with all things in life, failing to plan doesn’t stop bad things from happening.  Appointing a guardian will avoid making a distressing situation, however unlikely, less painful for your children.

Sadly, if you die without appointing a guardian, and there is no other parent with parental responsibility, social services and the courts will decide who is appointed to look after your child. This could be a person you would not have chosen. By preparing a correctly worded Will, you can eliminate this potentially upsetting situation and be confident that you have made provision for the care and protection of your children should the unthinkable happen.

Next steps

With so many options available, how do you decide who to ask for help with your Will? 

There are online services, home visit services, and the traditional option of going to a local solicitor or bank.  As with any important purchase, making enquiries and shopping around is a good idea.  Be sure to check the qualifications and credentials of the person you entrust to draft your will. Anyone can call themself a Willwriter. Choose a firm regulated by a professional body like the Institute of Professional Willwriters (IPW) or the Society of Trust and Estate Practitioners (STEP). A recommendation from a friend or colleague can be helpful.